it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
