I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
