Swine flu. Run for my life!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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