She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
