SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
