i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He shit in the fireplace
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
