Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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