Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
