i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
