I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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