I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
