even my farts smell like vagina
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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