She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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