so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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