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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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