How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
