What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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