Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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