She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Panties = found
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
