He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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