Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
