"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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