Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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