i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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