do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I am available for nakedness
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
