do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
