I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
