There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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