i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
