I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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