i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
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