Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
