Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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