I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sex in the backyard? Check.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
