every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
