I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
