I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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