i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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