Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
