i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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