worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
