I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
