I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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