my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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