We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
