community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
