I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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