it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
