Sry I called you an 8
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
