so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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