I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
