I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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